


Darkness

by gabrielthearchangelspn



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Possessed Castiel, Possession, destiel i guess, my idea of how possession works
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 19:16:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6718309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabrielthearchangelspn/pseuds/gabrielthearchangelspn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He spun around trying to find a source of light, but there was nothing, no walls, no ground, no ceiling. He took a cautious step forward, terrified that he would fall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Darkness

_"You are alone now, Castiel."_

His eyes shot open, confused, and scared. He began to panic when there was nothing but blackness before him. Castiel scrambled to his feet; his breathing quickening and his heart racing. 

_"You are expandable, Castiel."_

He spun around trying to find a source of light, but there was nothing, no walls, no ground, no ceiling. He took a cautious step forward, terrified that he would fall. 

_"No one cares that you're broken, Cas!"_

Castiel flinched and looked down as the words echoed through the endless blackness. He took a sharp breath and opened his eyes, but this time, he was sitting down staring into deep green eyes so full of anger and betrayal. 

"Dean?" He whispered to himself in disbelief and sadness.

Castiel watched as Dean got up and started walking away. The Winchester began fading away the further down the hall he got. Castiel tried to yell after him but there was nothing but air that left his mouth. 

"No, no, no! Please don't leave me!" He tried to yell but Dean was already gone. He tried to get up to run after him but he couldn't move and all that he could do stare at the ground where a broken board game lay in pieces. He felt like his heart was pressing against his rib cage. 

The room was fading into gray that was fading into black and Castiel felt the fear grip him again. The blackness didn't stay long and in moments, he was standing in the corner of a motel room looking at himself. He was sitting cross-legged on a motel bed, with John Winchester's journal in his lap, and Dean sitting in a chair a few feet away from him. He could see the guilt and nervousness inside the angel on the bed. 

It took him a moment to realize him and Dean was conversing. He saw a clear expression of frustration cross Deans face before he roughly closed the laptop and made his way to the edge of the motel end. The older Winchester sat down and his face softened.

"Talk to me." He said in a very soft voice, something that Castiel had only ever heard a few times.

He saw the hesitation and confusion in his own eyes, but also sadness and regret, he sighed deeply before he spoke. "Dean, I... When I was... bad... and I had all those things – the... the leviathans... writhing inside me... I caused a lot of suffering on earth, but I devastated Heaven. I vaporized thousands of my own kind, and I – I – I can't go back." 

From the corner of the room his heart ached, he could feel the pain and guilt coming from himself and it made Castiel want to run but he couldn't. 

He couldn't see Dean’s expression as he turned away from him and was looking at the Castiel on the bed. " 'Cause if you do, the angels will kill you." Dean assumed. 

Castiel wanted to lie and say yes but he was trapped and it seemed the truth was ripped from between his lips, "Because if I see what Heaven's become – what I – what I made of it... I'm afraid I might _kill myself._ " 

Dean just stared at him with no obvious expression, he opened his mouth to speak but Sam had entered the room and interrupted the moment. 

Castiel wondered what Dean might have said if Sam had not entered the room. He figured that it would have been something about "moving on and drinking away the pain." As he pondered the thought he was back in the infinite darkness.

_"You are nothing but a soldier, Castiel!"_

The haunting voice that seemed to echo throughout existence seemed to grow louder and it was becoming harder and harder for Castiel to ignore. 

_"You are just a baby in a trench coat!"_ The voice screamed at him.

Castiel cringed, and swallowed down the lump in his throat. 

_"You can't stay here, Castiel!"_ It screeched at him. 

_You are nothing you are nothing you are nothing you are nothing you are nothing!_

Castiel fell to his knees and gripped his head between his hands frantically pulling and scratching at his face and hair.

_"You have no one, Castiel!"_

Castiel screamed back so loud that his ears rang. The scream faded into a helpless sob as he fell completely to the ground and gathered himself into a ball. He sobbed and whimpered, "I know, _I know_ , just please...please stop..." He cried to the voice. 

It felt like every human emotion he never got the chance to feel slammed into him and it left him empty and shattered. 

Suddenly he was falling.

The invisible barrier that was keeping him up was no longer there and he was falling through a tunnel of darkness. There was no wind, just silence as he plummeted downwards. He screeched in fear and gripped blindly at the air trying to find a way to stop his fall. He was still screaming when he hit the ground. 

He felt hands on his face; prying open his eyes, and hands running up and down his body.

 _"Don't touch_ me!" Castiel screamed, pushing and scratching at the people holding him down. Someone was trying to talk to him, trying to shout over his screams but he Castiel didn't care, he wanted them to let go, and leave him alone. 

"Hey- Cas, listen to me!" Someone said.

The voice sounded so familiar and safe that he swallowed his fear and screams. He let his eyes open and he saw a set of intense green eyes and a pair of concerned hazel eyes. 

Castiel blinked several times to clear his blurry vision.

"Sam?" He asked questioningly. 

"Dean?"


End file.
